i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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