i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
