So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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