Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize