i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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