I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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