you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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