Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
