You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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