evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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