I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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