WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
