He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
