Just cropdusted the office
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
