All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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