we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
