This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
