"it" just moved
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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