did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Well I just put wine in my tea
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
