PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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