Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I have fence marks all over my body
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
