Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Randomize
