Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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