I heard we made out
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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