She went from zero to smokin in five shots
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
