I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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