10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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