You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
