I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
