He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
