so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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