I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
