It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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