420 ftw
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
