Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
