Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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