Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
