I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
