I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
