If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize