remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
