Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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