Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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