He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
