your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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