Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
