idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
