my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Randomize
