Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize