There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
