Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
