Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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