Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
