Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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