She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
