Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
