PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
