my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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