I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
