U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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