that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize