I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
