if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
