If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
