and you said cock pushups were impossible
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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