i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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