The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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