i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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