We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize