is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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