office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
whose parrot is this?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
