i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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