No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
