im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
